Monday, October 11, 2010

no. 7 - SUPERMAN... (poem)


lipad ay kay taas
mukha'y wala ni gasgas
tindig ay walang kasing tikas
sadyang walang kakupas-kupas
...
mistulang isang ibon sa himpapawid
nakikinig at nagmamasid
ilang dagat na ba ang iyong tinawid
at gaano kalalim na ba ang iyong sinisid
...
ngunit sa lahat-lahat na kaya mong gawin
ako ba'y iyong matutulungan din
sa aking mabigat na pasanin
dulot nitong masidhing damdamin

no. 6 - LIBERTY (poem)


Liberty…
I woke up this morning
Searching and wondering
I didn’t hear you sing
+++
Liberty…
It didn’t occur to me
Some things should be taken seriously
Now longing, desperately
+++
Liberty…
We played like we never care
Now, can’t even dare
You’re heading somewhere
+++
Liberty…
Seems like it was just yesterday
I saw you walked away
Can you come and never walk away?


Sunday, October 10, 2010

no. 5 - STAY LONGER (song)

Doo...doo...
Doo...doo...

Night is fading
Dawn is breaking
Oh, my heart won’t stop beating
And this clock just keeps on ticking
...
Is it time to say goodbye again?
We’re doing this almost now and then
Still lost in this nostalgic feeling
Trapped in your ocean, slowly sinking
Stay longer
Feed this hunger
Wanna be sweeter
Stay a bit longer
...
Can’t stay out
Give a loud shout
Blinding flash of luster
Heart now beats faster
...
Now it's time to say goodbye again
We’re doing this almost now and then
Still lost in this nostalgic feeling
Trapped in your ocean, slowly sinking
Stay longer
Feed this hunger
Wanna be sweeter
Stay a bit longer
...
It’s morrow, can’t believe
Smiling, trying to deceive
...
Stay longer
Starting to feel bitter
But I’ll soon get better
If you'll just stay a bit longer
...
So won't you
Stay longer
Feed this hunger
Wanna be sweeter
Just stay a bit longer
...
Stay
Stay a bit longer
Stay

no. 4 - still in progress - needs title & melody

...
A bottle of champagne
Really not enough to cure the pain
I drove for another mile
Just to make a pile
Heading somewhere else
Looking for some wishing well-s
Got to make lots of wish-es
Before this heart turns to ash-es
...
I broke your heart yet you broke mine
Far worse than I have anticipated
I ain’t settling now for a glass of wine
Coz the least I want is to be jaded
I’m free alas
But why was it so fast?
...
Now teardrops start to fall
In that song, is this what they call
Many sleepless nights and the tears I cry?
Forgetting not that matching sigh
Might as well I should stay
In this bar and sing “my way”
To find how true what people say
Folks got killed for singing “my way”
...
I didn't mean to break your heart
You could’ve been easy on me
Why didn’t you tell me from the start
You know I wanted to be free
Okay, I wanted to
But not by hurting you…
...
I broke your heart yet you broke mine
Far worse than I have anticipated
I ain’t settling now for a glass of wine
Coz the least I want is to be jaded
I’m free alas
But why was it so fast?

no. 3 - I'M DONE (song)

...
I’m done
With the rain flooding my eyes
Tired of seeing all the lies
I’m done 3x
...
Trying
Hard to laugh at it
Speeding up the beat
What am I thinking?
...
Now
Light’s still not shining through
Thought I was over you
But somehow
I’m heading the other way
I really don’t wanna stay
I wanna be far away
...
Done
Defending from time to time
I know you can’t be mine
I’m done 3x
...
Holding
This one thin thread
But you’re now far ahead
What am I doing?
...
And though
Lights still not shining through
I will get over you
Coz somehow
I’m heading the other way
I really don’t wanna stay
I wanna be far away…
I’m done…

no. 2 - BELIEVING (song)

...
You thought
Life could be so great
That it’s all give and take
Now you’re awake
...
Now take
Everything that you went through
Soon you’ll know what to do
Just be true
...
Falling
Is just part of it
Stand up, raise your hand
Look for the light
Coz someday
You will find a way
To your heart’s content
Believe in your self
...
Watch
Everything that you do and say
If you want it smooth all the way
On the ground, you should stay
...
Wait
Take your time and you’ll be fine
Slowly though but you’ll surely shine
Have peace of mind
...
Yeah rushing
Is not helping much
You’ll just break it all
Don’t you take that fall
Someday
You will find a way
To your heart’s content
Just believe in your self

no. 1 - Daddy's Girl (song)


Intro / Chorus:
I'll miss being daddy's girl
Though sometimes he rules my world
Since I broke his heart
From him, I'll be apart

***

I can still remember

My mother used to say

That I always had a fever
When daddy's far away

I can't help from laughing

At the same time I am crying
If only I've just passed it by
I won't be saying sad goodbye

***
Chorus:
I'll miss being daddy's girl
Though sometimes he rules my world
Since I broke his heart
From him, I'll be apart!

***
I used to sing his favorite song
And the lines are still in my mind
Though I always/used to get a gong
He doesn't ever leave me behind

I can't stop from crying
I don't like what I am seeing
If only I have done what's right
I won't be seeing such an awful sight

***
Chorus:
I'll miss being daddy's girl
Though sometimes he rules my world
Since I broke his heart
From him, I'll be apart!
****
Adlib
Repeat 4th stanza
Repeat chorus
***
Finale:
I'm daddy's girl
I'm daddy's girl
I'm daddy's girl
I was daddy's girl...





(wheew....this was like the darkest days of my life...made the song out of it...glad to be back...i'm still daddy's girl...bleh!!!)

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Busiest when bored!

lights on . . .
lights off . . .

sign in . . .
sign out . . .

battery low . . .
charging.

curtain down . . .
curtain up . . .

online . . .
offline . . .

body's tired,
mind's alive,
running . . .
imagining . . .
counting . . .
dreaming . . .
defining . . .
fantasizing.

battery full.

turn on . . .
turn off . . .
turn on . . .

texting
dialing
calling

tired.
silent mode.

sign in . . .
sign out . . .

go out!
go back in!

sundden blog idea.
write it down.

tick.
tock.
tick.
tock.

everyone's asleep
but gotta take a sip
don't want that though to slip
it'll only make we weep
followed by nights of no sleep
now that's a creep!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

"...THE KID COULD HAVE BEEN MINE."

"OooMmmGgg!" we shouted like we own the place. Forget the sneering look of by-standers, the intrigued glances of passers-by, the shock reaction of the hot corporate guy on the other table. I MISSED MY GIRL. And by the way she shouted back, I know she missed me as much. 'Tis one girl I really considered one of my closest girl pals and considered as an older sister. Even though we rarely see each other when she was still living here. For me, that's true friendship. And I know, you will all agree. You better do. Aha. Aha. Aha. (MaTeTaM's new laugh...bleh)

WOW! It had been 5 long years that we haven't seen each other since the day she went abroad to follow her family and pursue a career. Coz despite the latest technological advancements on communication, we haven't really kept in touch as often as we want to. NO THANKS to her "backward mentality" and "broken heart" for not having any account on any networking sites. Thank GOD for cellphones though coz she managed to respond to some of my texts.

It could have been one of my greatest reunions if only it was not just for a day. Unfortunately, she was just here to fix some legal issues. But the naughty and "hurt" me, spanked her on the butt and scolded her for not telling me sooner. (more like of a brat scolding actually..aha aha aha)

Well...

Who would not be hurt when you're informed all of a sudden that she arrived a week ago and that she came to the city just to see me and that on the next day she's already leaving again for abroad? Where is the love? Seriously, I was flattered, in fact, my heart melted coz among all her friends, she chose to see me. But I was still hurt coz we could have bonded longer. And I felt like less of a friend to her. I even pointed out that her province is just 2 to 3 hours away from the city, I could actually pay her a visit. Or that she could've visited me in our "ancestral house" since it's closer to her coz even if I was not there, I will know and will immediately drop anything right there and then. Or a simple text will do. But she didn't.

But of course, I understood and quickly let it pass. Duh! It's only "once in a blue moon" that we get to see each other and I know not when the "next time" will be.

So we talked. And talk we did for the next hour and a half or so. Reminiscing the "crimes" we did together, the adventures and misadventures, the naughty times, the serious times, et cetera. We talked about the people we met and became friends with since we part ways. We also talked about the people we both know and miss.

But just as we started having fun talking like there's no tomorrow (coz basically we didn't have...), her face saddened and tears are slowly filling up her eyes, threatening to fall if she loses her control. I became worried and hurried to her side. Then she bursted into a soft cry. The softest but most painful cry I've even seen and heard, so far.

Then...she told me the reason why she chose to see me and me alone on her "last" day in Philippines.

"I'm still mending a broken heart," she faintly said.

I was shocked. I knew how broken she was when she went away. I was actually hoping that time heals all wounds and that she can find someone else. But I never expected that it will still be the same guy. My shock turned into sadness and all-out sympathy for her. Here I am, totally moved on but here's a friend, so dear to me, who is still haunted by it.

She then told me that she chose to see me on the day before she leaves so that she will know how hurt she still is. Maybe because I was the closer to the guy compare to her other friends. And that my very presence reminds her of that "particular" past.

Seven years ago.

I never thought that she will become of my closest friends or even just a simple friend/acquaintance . She was way out of my league when it comes to mingling to people. She was not a loner, though she can stay on the side, quietly observing, let's say she was more of a picky one. She's my complete opposite. We just clicked on three things: fashion, travel, and career.

She was not a snob. She was just misunderstood for being a quiet person. Ooops! I forgot one thing, we clicked coz practically she's the listener and I'm the chatter. Aha. Aha. Aha.

Anyway...

I knew those things when she officially became my friend's girlfriend. His first and planned to be his last. But she thought otherwise. In her defense, she was not playing. She was just open to possibilities. She knew she had to leave after she earned her degree. My guy friend knew about it but was hopeful that she will stay if he proposed to her. And he did.

We knew about it on the night before she left. And it was a month already. We thought that they're just having their usual lovers' quarrel. But the suppressed questions poured into her on that night coz he was not around. She just kept smiling, pretending to be very busy.

When everyone else went home and it was only us, her closest friends, left to stay for the night, she opened up.

...

She already knew that he will propose coz they have been talking about it anyway. So on the night he proposed, she was prepared. And by the time he popped the "million-dollar", "life-and-death", "now-or-never" question, "Will you marry me?"... she asked him back instead with two questions: "If I say not now, will you wait for me? And if I say yes, will you leave with me?"

According to her, he was quiet all through out the entire dinner, which she understood so she kept her silence as well. And when they arrive at her place, the guy to chose to talk it over in the car. (In my own words, as how I remembered the story) He said, "You knew I can't leave. Can you just say and stay? You can always have a good career here. And if I say I will wait, until when will you keep me waiting? How much time do you need?"

Obviously, she didn't know what to say. We can't blame her for she was just 22 years old. She was still eager to be independent, to explore, to try new things. Besides, her "leave" was already planned before they even met. But we can't blame him for his "abrupt" decision or demand in a way. We knew that he was afraid that he might lose her. Plus, he was the only son, he can't just leave his parents. He had to take over the family business especially his father had become sickly.

It may seem like a simple "conflict" for some, but having witnessed their struggle, it was not that simple, at all. Some of us said that if he loves her, he will wait and not pressure her. Some also said that they were still young, no one knows what lies ahead. True. True. So we were down to the cliché again, "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be." And it was not meant to be. Unless, destiny twists and turns events.

But it was over for her, when he didn't show up at the airport. And I haven't seen or heard anything from/about the guy since then.

So it came as the most shocking news to me while I was comforting her when she said that his "wife" just gave birth two weeks before she arrived.

I didn't know he has a wife, worst is not knowing that he even got married. And now, his wife just gave birth? Worst of all worsts, she arrived just in time to hear the news, herself.

COINCIDENCE?

Super! I actually doubted her main reason of going back to Philippines. And as expected, I got a spank and she showed me some legal documents to prove me wrong. It was more of "a slap on the face." Then she laughed at me when she saw how ashamed i was for doubting her.

I was about to laugh as well when I saw that she was indeed laughing but her eyes never lost that painful look on it. She knew what I saw and even tried to change her mood and made her laughter louder. My heart crashed and crushed. I hugged her as tight as I could. Then she whispered in a sobbing voice, "THE KID COULD HAVE BEEN MINE."

...

It's truly the saddest, regretful phrase I have ever heard. It really tore me apart for it came from someone dear to me.

I was sad for her but still...I am hoping that time will soon heal her wounds. All I can do now is pray for her. As for the guy, well...I am happy for him. They both deserve to be happy. We all do!


Friday, July 23, 2010

TWO SIDES OF MIDNIGHT BABIES *wink*

the "WILD" side

M mystery: unsolved!
I intimidating
D daredevils
N NOCTURNAL
I impulsive
G gamblers
H harsh
T temptress(es)

B bloopers! bloopers! bloopers!
A abstract
B bizarre
I impenetrable
E electrifying
S sarcastic

the "TAMED" ones

M merry-maker
I IDOLS
D dancers
N no-nonsense
I immeasurable
G gallant
H hyper
T talented

B baby-face(s)
A aristocrats
B bright
I idyllic
E elite
S SOCIAL

The explanation
in case you need explanation: oh...this will be a long one! Ahahaha!

The wild side:
ARG! i can't help from laughing...memories are flooding in, it's drowning me...naks! ahahaha!
oh...well... i'll laugh harder later...here goes!

Mystery unsolved: duh! you'll agree with me (of course, you should!) when i say that the most mysterious creatures in this universe (given there's no alien in the equation..hahaha) are human beings! ahahaha! come on! we may look like goddesses but we are still...still human! unless...of course...you really treat us as goddesses! Peace out!

Intimidating: as long as we are all together...of course! hahaha! but...don't be complacent coz we can be intimidating even on our own...so watch it! LOL

Daredevils: so don't you dare! LOL

Nocturnal: duh! MIDNIGHT babies? duh!

Impulsive: shoppers/buyers? check! lovers? check! students? check! ahahaha! tell me what else...LOL

Gamblers: super risk-takers! that's why we're daredevils...duh! LOL

Harsh: to those who deserve harshness though! watch out!

Temptress (es): and i couldn't agree more! been there, done that! LOL

Bloopers: Bwahahahaha! who made most of it girls? *wink*

Electrifying: yeah...we can give you sizzles! beware!

Sarcastic: ika nga nila...pikon talo! if you can't take sarcasm, you ain't a midnight baby! *bleh*

The tamed ones: ooooooh!

Merry-makers: oh...we love all kinds of fun! if there's no party, we create one!

Idols: hahaha! if i remember it right..it all started with John (chikay's chuva...hehehe), when he started calling me Idol...and the rest are idols...of course!

Dancers: hahaha! one reason we got evicted! nah! i won't elaborate on this one! t'was heart-breaking coz then we were separated...houses that is! but come on...it didn't stop us! LOL

No-nonsense people: hmmmm....this might be a little contradicting, right girls? LOL. coz we are nonsense sometimes...nope...most of the times...that's when fun begins! LOL. but...but we are serious if needed! defensive? hahaha!

Immeasurable: don't you dare measure our worth...our friendship! period!

Gallant: ooooh! we are brave ones, indeed! we can fight...as long as you don't bite! LOL

Hyper: duh! tell me who is not hyper but can last through the night....duh! again...MIDNIGHT babies! duh! LOL

Talented: oh! oh! oh! we are super coalition of talents! *wink*

Baby-face(s): do i need to say more? LOL

Aristocrats: with question mark...ahahaha! nahh...we are aristocrats! we are princesses in our home! there! (bleh)

Bright: i may have said beautiful, but realized that there's no need to emphasize on that...duh! LOL! so i was down to the famous question, "what is beauty if the brain is empty?" totally, not for the midnight babies!

Idyllic: we only want WORLD PEACE! who does not?

Elite: ahahaha! that's all! (bleh)

SOCIAL: sa maka-G lang! ahahaha!



hahaha! just missing my girls! see you soon! *wink*