MAY night crisis

"I'm not breathing...I'm suffocating without you...Do you feel it too?"

-Undiscovered, Ashlee Simpson

I know. I know. Ashlee is, well, if not so "trying hard", let's say, at least one "fighting spirit." But let me just quote a line from that song because, literally and figuratively, for the first time in my life, I experienced having a hard timr breathing, as in like I can't breathe at all.

But I would still kill for those wide-eyed, thick lashes, blue eyes. Heck, can't deny that she really got the looks. [Laughs]

Moving on...

Yeah, May is indeed a challenge. I thought that it would be on my first month here in the metro. It was then but "stress" is still not in the atmosphere...just yet. [Laughs] It was really fun during those times because we were paid even though we were just "papetiks-petiks." But now comes the real thing. "Stressed" can't even justify what I'm going through. Kinds of sickness are ambushing my now-so-fragile immune system. My mind is being tormented with the upselling vs. quality and still have to think how to spend my earnings practically. My dreams now are filled with different calls I had, bad calls to be exact. My eardrums are about to explode. My eyes are now radiation suckers. Adding up to the memories of the past that still haunt me, trying to break in again just to ruin my day and to think that i'm not done picking up the broken pieces yet.

I agree that to be challenged is a flattery for only the strong ones are those who are being challenged. I may look weak at times but I know I'm strong. And I can take challenges while patiently wait for my sun to shine once more. But too much is unforgivable. This may seem childish and so shallow compare to others'. But when you're away from home and still trying to fit in while managing your resources while giving your best then comes rain at times when you feel like so all alone, who would still be flattered about it?

I know I shouldn't be complaining for I chose to be here since I wanted to grow but come on, I'm still human. I can still complain about life and it's uncetainties. But what can I do? One must grow and this may be the way for me to reach that. So much for growing!