Sunday, August 15, 2010

Busiest when bored!

lights on . . .
lights off . . .

sign in . . .
sign out . . .

battery low . . .

curtain down . . .
curtain up . . .

online . . .
offline . . .

body's tired,
mind's alive,
running . . .
imagining . . .
counting . . .
dreaming . . .
defining . . .

battery full.

turn on . . .
turn off . . .
turn on . . .


silent mode.

sign in . . .
sign out . . .

go out!
go back in!

sundden blog idea.
write it down.


everyone's asleep
but gotta take a sip
don't want that though to slip
it'll only make we weep
followed by nights of no sleep
now that's a creep!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


"OooMmmGgg!" we shouted like we own the place. Forget the sneering look of by-standers, the intrigued glances of passers-by, the shock reaction of the hot corporate guy on the other table. I MISSED MY GIRL. And by the way she shouted back, I know she missed me as much. 'Tis one girl I really considered one of my closest girl pals and considered as an older sister. Even though we rarely see each other when she was still living here. For me, that's true friendship. And I know, you will all agree. You better do. Aha. Aha. Aha. (MaTeTaM's new laugh...bleh)

WOW! It had been 5 long years that we haven't seen each other since the day she went abroad to follow her family and pursue a career. Coz despite the latest technological advancements on communication, we haven't really kept in touch as often as we want to. NO THANKS to her "backward mentality" and "broken heart" for not having any account on any networking sites. Thank GOD for cellphones though coz she managed to respond to some of my texts.

It could have been one of my greatest reunions if only it was not just for a day. Unfortunately, she was just here to fix some legal issues. But the naughty and "hurt" me, spanked her on the butt and scolded her for not telling me sooner. (more like of a brat scolding actually..aha aha aha)


Who would not be hurt when you're informed all of a sudden that she arrived a week ago and that she came to the city just to see me and that on the next day she's already leaving again for abroad? Where is the love? Seriously, I was flattered, in fact, my heart melted coz among all her friends, she chose to see me. But I was still hurt coz we could have bonded longer. And I felt like less of a friend to her. I even pointed out that her province is just 2 to 3 hours away from the city, I could actually pay her a visit. Or that she could've visited me in our "ancestral house" since it's closer to her coz even if I was not there, I will know and will immediately drop anything right there and then. Or a simple text will do. But she didn't.

But of course, I understood and quickly let it pass. Duh! It's only "once in a blue moon" that we get to see each other and I know not when the "next time" will be.

So we talked. And talk we did for the next hour and a half or so. Reminiscing the "crimes" we did together, the adventures and misadventures, the naughty times, the serious times, et cetera. We talked about the people we met and became friends with since we part ways. We also talked about the people we both know and miss.

But just as we started having fun talking like there's no tomorrow (coz basically we didn't have...), her face saddened and tears are slowly filling up her eyes, threatening to fall if she loses her control. I became worried and hurried to her side. Then she bursted into a soft cry. The softest but most painful cry I've even seen and heard, so far.

Then...she told me the reason why she chose to see me and me alone on her "last" day in Philippines.

"I'm still mending a broken heart," she faintly said.

I was shocked. I knew how broken she was when she went away. I was actually hoping that time heals all wounds and that she can find someone else. But I never expected that it will still be the same guy. My shock turned into sadness and all-out sympathy for her. Here I am, totally moved on but here's a friend, so dear to me, who is still haunted by it.

She then told me that she chose to see me on the day before she leaves so that she will know how hurt she still is. Maybe because I was the closer to the guy compare to her other friends. And that my very presence reminds her of that "particular" past.

Seven years ago.

I never thought that she will become of my closest friends or even just a simple friend/acquaintance . She was way out of my league when it comes to mingling to people. She was not a loner, though she can stay on the side, quietly observing, let's say she was more of a picky one. She's my complete opposite. We just clicked on three things: fashion, travel, and career.

She was not a snob. She was just misunderstood for being a quiet person. Ooops! I forgot one thing, we clicked coz practically she's the listener and I'm the chatter. Aha. Aha. Aha.


I knew those things when she officially became my friend's girlfriend. His first and planned to be his last. But she thought otherwise. In her defense, she was not playing. She was just open to possibilities. She knew she had to leave after she earned her degree. My guy friend knew about it but was hopeful that she will stay if he proposed to her. And he did.

We knew about it on the night before she left. And it was a month already. We thought that they're just having their usual lovers' quarrel. But the suppressed questions poured into her on that night coz he was not around. She just kept smiling, pretending to be very busy.

When everyone else went home and it was only us, her closest friends, left to stay for the night, she opened up.


She already knew that he will propose coz they have been talking about it anyway. So on the night he proposed, she was prepared. And by the time he popped the "million-dollar", "life-and-death", "now-or-never" question, "Will you marry me?"... she asked him back instead with two questions: "If I say not now, will you wait for me? And if I say yes, will you leave with me?"

According to her, he was quiet all through out the entire dinner, which she understood so she kept her silence as well. And when they arrive at her place, the guy to chose to talk it over in the car. (In my own words, as how I remembered the story) He said, "You knew I can't leave. Can you just say and stay? You can always have a good career here. And if I say I will wait, until when will you keep me waiting? How much time do you need?"

Obviously, she didn't know what to say. We can't blame her for she was just 22 years old. She was still eager to be independent, to explore, to try new things. Besides, her "leave" was already planned before they even met. But we can't blame him for his "abrupt" decision or demand in a way. We knew that he was afraid that he might lose her. Plus, he was the only son, he can't just leave his parents. He had to take over the family business especially his father had become sickly.

It may seem like a simple "conflict" for some, but having witnessed their struggle, it was not that simple, at all. Some of us said that if he loves her, he will wait and not pressure her. Some also said that they were still young, no one knows what lies ahead. True. True. So we were down to the cliché again, "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be." And it was not meant to be. Unless, destiny twists and turns events.

But it was over for her, when he didn't show up at the airport. And I haven't seen or heard anything from/about the guy since then.

So it came as the most shocking news to me while I was comforting her when she said that his "wife" just gave birth two weeks before she arrived.

I didn't know he has a wife, worst is not knowing that he even got married. And now, his wife just gave birth? Worst of all worsts, she arrived just in time to hear the news, herself.


Super! I actually doubted her main reason of going back to Philippines. And as expected, I got a spank and she showed me some legal documents to prove me wrong. It was more of "a slap on the face." Then she laughed at me when she saw how ashamed i was for doubting her.

I was about to laugh as well when I saw that she was indeed laughing but her eyes never lost that painful look on it. She knew what I saw and even tried to change her mood and made her laughter louder. My heart crashed and crushed. I hugged her as tight as I could. Then she whispered in a sobbing voice, "THE KID COULD HAVE BEEN MINE."


It's truly the saddest, regretful phrase I have ever heard. It really tore me apart for it came from someone dear to me.

I was sad for her but still...I am hoping that time will soon heal her wounds. All I can do now is pray for her. As for the guy, well...I am happy for him. They both deserve to be happy. We all do!