Saturday, December 12, 2009


We were on our way home, a little drunk maybe but still able to walk properly. We were very happy chitchatting about school, life and love when i noticed that she'snot beside me anymore. I called out her name but no response at all. I turned back and there she was, crying.
I will never forget that night she cried under a huge mango tree. It was drizzling and the more worried I was. It was late and with me, someone's who's drunk and crying. And one heavy rain was about to pour. But to my dismay, she was actually happy that it was going to rain. Maybe because it was to her advantage or maybe she didn't care at all. I really didn't know what was on her mind except the fact that she's crying and hurting.
I can't remember even a dog passed by that night. So she was free to cry out loud and pour all her kept anger and anguish to that poor old tree. It was and, is a painful sight. Every detail is as clear as a crystal till now. How can I ever forget if it's not only the first time I saw her cried in vain and in too much pain but also, cried in someone else's presence?
I though that I was prepared for it since I already saw it coming. For months, I and our other closest friends tried to make a way into her. For many times we had open forums just to trigger her emotions till she would burst. But for months , she kept her silence and her usual happy face. She would crack jokes every now and then. And even made fun out of the very problem she's facing just to make us feel that she's alright. She may have convinced us sometimes but we knew she was not fine.
No doubt that she's strong but we knew she was holding on a thread. And as a saying goes, "No man is and island" and since she is dear to us, we were and is still are with her. She may have locked herself inside her room for days, but we never missed to knock at her door, literally and figuratively. We continued to let her feel our presence but at the same time, kept our distance for we knew she needed to realize things on her own. And it paid off.
Clearly, I was totallt caught by surprise when she cried for the first time. I didn't know what to do. It was usually me who seeks her advice and whom she willingly conforts. And when it was the other way around, I got numbed for a while. But I did what a true friend should do. I let her be but stayed beside her, let her feel that I was and am with her, let her know that she's not alone and never will be.
I must say I was relieved and somehow happy. To be able to see that my friend came out at last and to be there when she needed me the most, was and is one memory to be cherished. And so, I will never forget the first time she cried.


Saturday, April 4, 2009

my-now-favorite-song: deciphered

deciphered lyrics of my-now-favorite-song...tnx to passion/fashion

Flightless bird, American mouth
Iron and Wine

I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
(I am who I was, trying hard to be at my best)

All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys
(then you came and made me fall)

Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair
(but when the world disapproved me, I showed them who I want to be)

Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere
(you showed me my direction, I will long for no one else but you)

Have I found you
(Are you really mine now?)

Flightless bird
(you said you won’t leave me),

(the world envy me for having you),

weeping or lost you
(but then I lost you),

american mouth
(for me american mouth signifies idioms or better words said)

Big pill looming
(a danger was posted)

Now I’m a fat house cat
(found myself at home)

Nursing my sore blunt tongue
(trying to cure a broken heart)

Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks
(pushing myself to move on)

Kissing on magazine photos
(yet memories of you help me not to)

Those fishing lures thrown in the cold
(my love was just swept away)

And clean blood of Christ mountain stream
(Yet i still see hope)

Have I found you
(Have you really been part of my life?)

Flightless bird
(who once told won’t leave me),

(I believed),

(and am now deeply hurt)

or lost you, american mouth
(I lost you)

Big pill stuck going down
(but you still can find me).