Sunday, October 10, 2010

no. 3 - I'M DONE (song)

...
I’m done
With the rain flooding my eyes
Tired of seeing all the lies
I’m done 3x
...
Trying
Hard to laugh at it
Speeding up the beat
What am I thinking?
...
Now
Light’s still not shining through
Thought I was over you
But somehow
I’m heading the other way
I really don’t wanna stay
I wanna be far away
...
Done
Defending from time to time
I know you can’t be mine
I’m done 3x
...
Holding
This one thin thread
But you’re now far ahead
What am I doing?
...
And though
Lights still not shining through
I will get over you
Coz somehow
I’m heading the other way
I really don’t wanna stay
I wanna be far away…
I’m done…

no. 2 - BELIEVING (song)

...
You thought
Life could be so great
That it’s all give and take
Now you’re awake
...
Now take
Everything that you went through
Soon you’ll know what to do
Just be true
...
Falling
Is just part of it
Stand up, raise your hand
Look for the light
Coz someday
You will find a way
To your heart’s content
Believe in your self
...
Watch
Everything that you do and say
If you want it smooth all the way
On the ground, you should stay
...
Wait
Take your time and you’ll be fine
Slowly though but you’ll surely shine
Have peace of mind
...
Yeah rushing
Is not helping much
You’ll just break it all
Don’t you take that fall
Someday
You will find a way
To your heart’s content
Just believe in your self

no. 1 - Daddy's Girl (song)


Intro / Chorus:
I'll miss being daddy's girl
Though sometimes he rules my world
Since I broke his heart
From him, I'll be apart

***

I can still remember

My mother used to say

That I always had a fever
When daddy's far away

I can't help from laughing

At the same time I am crying
If only I've just passed it by
I won't be saying sad goodbye

***
Chorus:
I'll miss being daddy's girl
Though sometimes he rules my world
Since I broke his heart
From him, I'll be apart!

***
I used to sing his favorite song
And the lines are still in my mind
Though I always/used to get a gong
He doesn't ever leave me behind

I can't stop from crying
I don't like what I am seeing
If only I have done what's right
I won't be seeing such an awful sight

***
Chorus:
I'll miss being daddy's girl
Though sometimes he rules my world
Since I broke his heart
From him, I'll be apart!
****
Adlib
Repeat 4th stanza
Repeat chorus
***
Finale:
I'm daddy's girl
I'm daddy's girl
I'm daddy's girl
I was daddy's girl...





(wheew....this was like the darkest days of my life...made the song out of it...glad to be back...i'm still daddy's girl...bleh!!!)

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Busiest when bored!

lights on . . .
lights off . . .

sign in . . .
sign out . . .

battery low . . .
charging.

curtain down . . .
curtain up . . .

online . . .
offline . . .

body's tired,
mind's alive,
running . . .
imagining . . .
counting . . .
dreaming . . .
defining . . .
fantasizing.

battery full.

turn on . . .
turn off . . .
turn on . . .

texting
dialing
calling

tired.
silent mode.

sign in . . .
sign out . . .

go out!
go back in!

sundden blog idea.
write it down.

tick.
tock.
tick.
tock.

everyone's asleep
but gotta take a sip
don't want that though to slip
it'll only make we weep
followed by nights of no sleep
now that's a creep!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

"...THE KID COULD HAVE BEEN MINE."

"OooMmmGgg!" we shouted like we own the place. Forget the sneering look of by-standers, the intrigued glances of passers-by, the shock reaction of the hot corporate guy on the other table. I MISSED MY GIRL. And by the way she shouted back, I know she missed me as much. 'Tis one girl I really considered one of my closest girl pals and considered as an older sister. Even though we rarely see each other when she was still living here. For me, that's true friendship. And I know, you will all agree. You better do. Aha. Aha. Aha. (MaTeTaM's new laugh...bleh)

WOW! It had been 5 long years that we haven't seen each other since the day she went abroad to follow her family and pursue a career. Coz despite the latest technological advancements on communication, we haven't really kept in touch as often as we want to. NO THANKS to her "backward mentality" and "broken heart" for not having any account on any networking sites. Thank GOD for cellphones though coz she managed to respond to some of my texts.

It could have been one of my greatest reunions if only it was not just for a day. Unfortunately, she was just here to fix some legal issues. But the naughty and "hurt" me, spanked her on the butt and scolded her for not telling me sooner. (more like of a brat scolding actually..aha aha aha)

Well...

Who would not be hurt when you're informed all of a sudden that she arrived a week ago and that she came to the city just to see me and that on the next day she's already leaving again for abroad? Where is the love? Seriously, I was flattered, in fact, my heart melted coz among all her friends, she chose to see me. But I was still hurt coz we could have bonded longer. And I felt like less of a friend to her. I even pointed out that her province is just 2 to 3 hours away from the city, I could actually pay her a visit. Or that she could've visited me in our "ancestral house" since it's closer to her coz even if I was not there, I will know and will immediately drop anything right there and then. Or a simple text will do. But she didn't.

But of course, I understood and quickly let it pass. Duh! It's only "once in a blue moon" that we get to see each other and I know not when the "next time" will be.

So we talked. And talk we did for the next hour and a half or so. Reminiscing the "crimes" we did together, the adventures and misadventures, the naughty times, the serious times, et cetera. We talked about the people we met and became friends with since we part ways. We also talked about the people we both know and miss.

But just as we started having fun talking like there's no tomorrow (coz basically we didn't have...), her face saddened and tears are slowly filling up her eyes, threatening to fall if she loses her control. I became worried and hurried to her side. Then she bursted into a soft cry. The softest but most painful cry I've even seen and heard, so far.

Then...she told me the reason why she chose to see me and me alone on her "last" day in Philippines.

"I'm still mending a broken heart," she faintly said.

I was shocked. I knew how broken she was when she went away. I was actually hoping that time heals all wounds and that she can find someone else. But I never expected that it will still be the same guy. My shock turned into sadness and all-out sympathy for her. Here I am, totally moved on but here's a friend, so dear to me, who is still haunted by it.

She then told me that she chose to see me on the day before she leaves so that she will know how hurt she still is. Maybe because I was the closer to the guy compare to her other friends. And that my very presence reminds her of that "particular" past.

Seven years ago.

I never thought that she will become of my closest friends or even just a simple friend/acquaintance . She was way out of my league when it comes to mingling to people. She was not a loner, though she can stay on the side, quietly observing, let's say she was more of a picky one. She's my complete opposite. We just clicked on three things: fashion, travel, and career.

She was not a snob. She was just misunderstood for being a quiet person. Ooops! I forgot one thing, we clicked coz practically she's the listener and I'm the chatter. Aha. Aha. Aha.

Anyway...

I knew those things when she officially became my friend's girlfriend. His first and planned to be his last. But she thought otherwise. In her defense, she was not playing. She was just open to possibilities. She knew she had to leave after she earned her degree. My guy friend knew about it but was hopeful that she will stay if he proposed to her. And he did.

We knew about it on the night before she left. And it was a month already. We thought that they're just having their usual lovers' quarrel. But the suppressed questions poured into her on that night coz he was not around. She just kept smiling, pretending to be very busy.

When everyone else went home and it was only us, her closest friends, left to stay for the night, she opened up.

...

She already knew that he will propose coz they have been talking about it anyway. So on the night he proposed, she was prepared. And by the time he popped the "million-dollar", "life-and-death", "now-or-never" question, "Will you marry me?"... she asked him back instead with two questions: "If I say not now, will you wait for me? And if I say yes, will you leave with me?"

According to her, he was quiet all through out the entire dinner, which she understood so she kept her silence as well. And when they arrive at her place, the guy to chose to talk it over in the car. (In my own words, as how I remembered the story) He said, "You knew I can't leave. Can you just say and stay? You can always have a good career here. And if I say I will wait, until when will you keep me waiting? How much time do you need?"

Obviously, she didn't know what to say. We can't blame her for she was just 22 years old. She was still eager to be independent, to explore, to try new things. Besides, her "leave" was already planned before they even met. But we can't blame him for his "abrupt" decision or demand in a way. We knew that he was afraid that he might lose her. Plus, he was the only son, he can't just leave his parents. He had to take over the family business especially his father had become sickly.

It may seem like a simple "conflict" for some, but having witnessed their struggle, it was not that simple, at all. Some of us said that if he loves her, he will wait and not pressure her. Some also said that they were still young, no one knows what lies ahead. True. True. So we were down to the cliché again, "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be." And it was not meant to be. Unless, destiny twists and turns events.

But it was over for her, when he didn't show up at the airport. And I haven't seen or heard anything from/about the guy since then.

So it came as the most shocking news to me while I was comforting her when she said that his "wife" just gave birth two weeks before she arrived.

I didn't know he has a wife, worst is not knowing that he even got married. And now, his wife just gave birth? Worst of all worsts, she arrived just in time to hear the news, herself.

COINCIDENCE?

Super! I actually doubted her main reason of going back to Philippines. And as expected, I got a spank and she showed me some legal documents to prove me wrong. It was more of "a slap on the face." Then she laughed at me when she saw how ashamed i was for doubting her.

I was about to laugh as well when I saw that she was indeed laughing but her eyes never lost that painful look on it. She knew what I saw and even tried to change her mood and made her laughter louder. My heart crashed and crushed. I hugged her as tight as I could. Then she whispered in a sobbing voice, "THE KID COULD HAVE BEEN MINE."

...

It's truly the saddest, regretful phrase I have ever heard. It really tore me apart for it came from someone dear to me.

I was sad for her but still...I am hoping that time will soon heal her wounds. All I can do now is pray for her. As for the guy, well...I am happy for him. They both deserve to be happy. We all do!


Friday, July 23, 2010

TWO SIDES OF MIDNIGHT BABIES *wink*

the "WILD" side

M mystery: unsolved!
I intimidating
D daredevils
N NOCTURNAL
I impulsive
G gamblers
H harsh
T temptress(es)

B bloopers! bloopers! bloopers!
A abstract
B bizarre
I impenetrable
E electrifying
S sarcastic

the "TAMED" ones

M merry-maker
I IDOLS
D dancers
N no-nonsense
I immeasurable
G gallant
H hyper
T talented

B baby-face(s)
A aristocrats
B bright
I idyllic
E elite
S SOCIAL

The explanation
in case you need explanation: oh...this will be a long one! Ahahaha!

The wild side:
ARG! i can't help from laughing...memories are flooding in, it's drowning me...naks! ahahaha!
oh...well... i'll laugh harder later...here goes!

Mystery unsolved: duh! you'll agree with me (of course, you should!) when i say that the most mysterious creatures in this universe (given there's no alien in the equation..hahaha) are human beings! ahahaha! come on! we may look like goddesses but we are still...still human! unless...of course...you really treat us as goddesses! Peace out!

Intimidating: as long as we are all together...of course! hahaha! but...don't be complacent coz we can be intimidating even on our own...so watch it! LOL

Daredevils: so don't you dare! LOL

Nocturnal: duh! MIDNIGHT babies? duh!

Impulsive: shoppers/buyers? check! lovers? check! students? check! ahahaha! tell me what else...LOL

Gamblers: super risk-takers! that's why we're daredevils...duh! LOL

Harsh: to those who deserve harshness though! watch out!

Temptress (es): and i couldn't agree more! been there, done that! LOL

Bloopers: Bwahahahaha! who made most of it girls? *wink*

Electrifying: yeah...we can give you sizzles! beware!

Sarcastic: ika nga nila...pikon talo! if you can't take sarcasm, you ain't a midnight baby! *bleh*

The tamed ones: ooooooh!

Merry-makers: oh...we love all kinds of fun! if there's no party, we create one!

Idols: hahaha! if i remember it right..it all started with John (chikay's chuva...hehehe), when he started calling me Idol...and the rest are idols...of course!

Dancers: hahaha! one reason we got evicted! nah! i won't elaborate on this one! t'was heart-breaking coz then we were separated...houses that is! but come on...it didn't stop us! LOL

No-nonsense people: hmmmm....this might be a little contradicting, right girls? LOL. coz we are nonsense sometimes...nope...most of the times...that's when fun begins! LOL. but...but we are serious if needed! defensive? hahaha!

Immeasurable: don't you dare measure our worth...our friendship! period!

Gallant: ooooh! we are brave ones, indeed! we can fight...as long as you don't bite! LOL

Hyper: duh! tell me who is not hyper but can last through the night....duh! again...MIDNIGHT babies! duh! LOL

Talented: oh! oh! oh! we are super coalition of talents! *wink*

Baby-face(s): do i need to say more? LOL

Aristocrats: with question mark...ahahaha! nahh...we are aristocrats! we are princesses in our home! there! (bleh)

Bright: i may have said beautiful, but realized that there's no need to emphasize on that...duh! LOL! so i was down to the famous question, "what is beauty if the brain is empty?" totally, not for the midnight babies!

Idyllic: we only want WORLD PEACE! who does not?

Elite: ahahaha! that's all! (bleh)

SOCIAL: sa maka-G lang! ahahaha!



hahaha! just missing my girls! see you soon! *wink*

Saturday, June 19, 2010

WINTER IS NO MORE WONDERLAND...

winter...as you all know is my pet dog... "christened as Edward Anthony Masen Cullen" lol...yeah seriously folks...he ismy edward...coz he is as pale as him...lol...i'm sure you have seen him on my facebook page...

but sad to say that he is gone now...he was bitten by a snake...huhuhu! where did the snake come from? i don't know...i wish i know...no doubt i'll go right into its "hole/whatever" and kill him...chop it to death...

i still can't move on...his things are still around the house...mama even bought him a special stainless bowl for his food/drinks...who's gonna use 'em now? huhuhu!

i swear that snake will pay! all sanke will pay!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

PHILIPPINES' FIRST AUTOMATED ELECTION: THE FUN!

On a lighter note...

Election day was really one heck of a day...but it was fun. Funny things still happened...thank GOD!

First on my list are bumping into some long-time-no-see-neighbors and highschool classmates. hmmm... thinking of it now, it's almost 3 months that I haven't gone home and stayed in Digos. If not for "electeion". Laughs.

Second... being the "maharot" me, I met new cuties. Such a refreshing sight. Might as well take advatage of the moment. Laughs. I now have new friends...Jean, Mark, Shey, Ton-ton and the funny gay Feli...short for Felimon. Laughs.

And saving the best for last...

While casually chatting with a neighbor about "politics"...some "tiguwang daut" loudly claimed that they knew the "preso" who just passed by, escorted by three police.

tiguwang daut 1: Aw, napriso jud day na xa?
tiguwang daut 2: Na, karon ra gani ko kabalo?
sabatirong ulitawo: ah, ulawa pud ana oi...ako pa niya di na lang ko mubot.
tiguwang daut 3: Asa ka, boto o mamatay? Boto na lang jud ka.
sabatirong ulitawo: Na...may lang unta lagi gipailis man lang unta,.. awa ra gud na oh....sihag ayo na yelu ang tshirt...dako pajud ayo's tatak na DJMP!
tiguwang daut 1: Aw di man guro pud na siya gusto gud siguro muboto...puslan man makagawas.
tiguwang daut 2: Na, trip ra jud na iya... di pa ka ana nakaboto na xa, kasuroy pa xa...tulo pa man gani bodyguard oh.

katawa silang tanan...unsa pa...apil-apil pud kog katawa.

PHILIPPINES' FIRST AUTOMATED ELECTION: The Facts.

it's on my facebook account.

PHILIPPINES' FIRST AUTOMATED ELECTION: THE MISHAPS...THE FACTS...THE FUN!

CONGRATULATIONS "Pilipinas kong mahal...minumutya...ang bayan kong sinilangan...lupain ng ginto't bulaklak (like yours truly, of course! LOL)."

ALAS! Automated na tayo!

Unfortunately, not everyone is happy. I was almost like them when I waited two hours (or more) to vote. And if, GOD-FORBID, there would be "dayaan" of some kind, only then I'll rip the poise and go protest. (Prehaps...hunger strike...time to lose some baby fat...LOL)

Let's continue to pray that, somehow, people are now enlightened. But, honestly, I doubt it, for this day is one "helluva" day!

THE MISHAPS: arg! arg! arg!

It was drizzling ans the weather's cold...but I had to force myself to wake up soooo early in the morning...as in like five in the morning (one rare of a happening)...to be part of a "historical" event: "THE FIRST AUTOMATED ELECTION!"

I know...I know...it's worth it! What's not thought is skipping breakfast for the Nth time in my life (forget ulceration), so I can vote early and avoid "human traffic". Instead, I had to endure hours of standing for "tow lines".

First: the line to get a priority number, where awaits the only "BEI/Comelec Personnel/Priority number officer/Whatever he's called", who had to cater to hundreds or thousands of voters just to verify that your on the official voters' list before giving you that "precious 2x2/3x3 priorit number card". And what if you're not on the list?

For 30 minutes, I tried hard to ignore the question. And fortunately, I was on the list. But not the "gay" who went in and out of the so-called "priority number room". For almost 30 minutes of going in and out, he'd gone from being dismayed to outraged and had to lose his/her feminine touch for he had to shout in his huge manly voice to vent out his frustrations. I was annoyed and entertained the whole time. I wish he/she was able to vote...for I happen to know that we're on the same tram when, out of frustration, he blurted out his bets.

And that's just the "first line".

But before I kiss & tell on the "second line", I have to address one issue that I found...is really troublesome which happened in that same room. And that is..."some" of our younger generations have lost their "sense of respect".

I was like 10-20 persons away from the "priority # officer". I was standing on the entrance when a woman,in her late 40s, slowly entered the room, assisting an elderly woman. I could have not noticed them and could have not seen the pale face of the latter if only she didn't, accidentally, stepped on my left foot. But, being the good-hearted me (echoz!), I let it pass and even moved out a bit for them to effortlessly ease in. (oh di ba? magbuhat ba ng sariling bangko! LOL)

After I tissue-cleaned my foot, I became oblivious of the hysterics...(one tactic I use often is to think how to spend 1 billion pesos, as in like spend them all, in just an hour...syaro! hahaha!). I was on my last 100 million when some boys, somewhere at the back/end of the line, were making harsh comments, saying..."Kolorum"..."Ah, yati! Palakasay diay!"..."Hala boto us tarong ha...botohi ang datu, ayaw pobri kay magpadatu ra na"...etc. I glance at them to see what's causing the commotion. I was about to ask the girl next to me, who seemed amazed and in agreement of those boys, but before I can even start my question, some middle-aged women already shouted back,saying..."Paghilom! 'Way batasan ay...kita kang senior citizen...makuyapan na gani!" Such strong words that put those shameless "youngsters" in their right place. BRAVO NANAYs!

The elderly woman got her priority number who later on realized that she didn't need it in the first place. As for the young ones, they still have to stand and take the stares of mockery. Hahai...what a drama! Indeed. It is so sad how easily we can be un-respectful.

From one drama to another...entitled... The Second Line: An Election Saga. (LOL)

It took me an hour and a half, perhaps more... I'm really not sure about the time...I didn't have a wristwatch on and I didn't bring my cellphone since COMELEC emphasized not to/avoid bringing cellphones or any gadget that can cause some signal interference... of course, late realization again... i'm sure they meant during transmitting the result. But the point is... I waited, we waited for hours.

While I was waiting, I contently and patiently stood by the window in front of the school admin. office where I could watch the "halalan" coverage of ABS-CBN. At the same time, remained vigilant of teh numbers being called. I was #219 and the last number called when I arrived at my designated precinct was #105, I even asked two waiting voters to make sure. But after 10 minutes or so, while chitchatting with a neighbor, the rest of the crowd suddenly were complaining. Who would not be if from #120, BEIs just jumped the counting to #221?

In defense of our beloved teachers/BEIs, they hurriedly explained that the priority #s 221-240 were mistakenly given to the early birds when they were supposed to be given #s 121-140. And that after they called #240, they will go back to #141, onwards.

Wheew!

But... the damage has beed done. Those who were already impatient became moooore impatient and were complanining nonstop. Some, decided to go home. My family even did the same and decided to come later in the afternoon. And as usual, the stubborn but patient me ( naks!), remained to witness the poor "Mr. Priority # Officer" taking all the blame and complaints. I'm sure he had thought as well that "priority #s" were one of the causes of the delay. I hope... so that he can suggest it to their post-election meeting, whatever they call it...I"m sure there will be.

I was pondering on that thought...seriously thinking..when...

After 48 years...tantararan! They called out, "#219!"

I quickly walked towards the door, afraid to be skipped again. I didn't care bumping into "Mr. Too-much-perfume", causing him to drop his priority # on the muddy corridor. I even ignored "Miss Long Hair's" hissed when I brushed my hand on her behind. (Laughs). All I cared for is voting!

I have given back the priority #...stated my precinct # and my name...I though..."grabe pa-thrilling man ni oi"...accepted the secrecy folder (which is, by the wya, not helpful at all...) with the official ballot in it and the marker ( which is sooo new and sooo ink-full that it took all my reamining strengths just to prevent it from blotting).

I was all set, that's why it only took me two minutes to complet shading the "bilog na hugis itlog" beside my bets. Also, I was thinking that a lot more people are still waiting outside (charmoooz!) and I was starving! (laughs)

But seriously, I was excited to insert my ballot into the "Precinct Count Optical Scan Machine". in short, PCOS machine. ( Hahaha! trip ko lang pahabain..pormal-pormalan ba!)

I slowly walked towards that balck washing machine look-a-like PCOS machine. There were still four voters ahead of me, who were as excited and scared as I am. Excited to finally end the calvary and seal my vote but scared...very scared for my votes. What if the machine will reject my ballot?

Just as I rejected that thought, the first person's ballot was rejected. "Lampas man gud sa linya sa lingin imo pagshade, sir." the machine tech said. It dawned me then that I didn't even bother to check my ballot. (excited!) I was making sure that I didn't have the same mistake when the next person's ballot was again rejected. This time it was about "over voting".

"Omen?" I thought. Then I felt panicky and quickly checked my ballot again. And there was no problem as far as I know. Then came my turn. But before the actual insertion, the PCOS tech/operator/whatever asked for the folder...WHAT? Soooo much for a secrecy folder huh! Nevertheless, I slowly inserted my ballot and really waited for the word "CONGRATULATIONS" on the screen. One thing I noticed though while the machine was verifying my vote, the PCOS tech/operator/whatever was also taking note of every accepted ballot. Contingency plan? Well, I have done my part....Let's hope for the best.