LOSING YOU IS LOSING ME!

Have you watched rush hour 3? In case you haven't watched yet, there was a scene there where Chris Tucker was confused between the apprentice's and the master's names...Duh! Just watch the movie if you want to know what I'm talking about. I'm not really good at narrating. [Laughs] Actually, this has nothing to do with what I'm going to write about, at all. I just can't forget that scene when I hear the words "you" and "me".
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Well... "Losing you is losing me."
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Oh, come on! Grow up! This is the worst I've ever heard so far!
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I know, losing someone dear to you is really hard. Oftentimes, "hard" can't describe the pain of such lost or even justify what you are really going through. But that doesn't mean the world ends there. "Lost" doesn't always mean "end". Most definitely. Sometimes, losing is gaining. And sometimes, you have to lose in order to gain. I believe that this applies to everything and everyone. But let's stick with losing someone.
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As an average human being, I'm no exemption to this dilemna. I have lost several times. And throughout time, I was made aware that despite the lost, I was able to gain.
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I was "hooked up" with someone I thought to be my destiny. Believe me, it's more "corny" then than how it sounds now. Anyway, that someone was a long-time crush. So when I had the chance to have him, I did everthing to get him. And I must admit, I kind of lost myself back then. But in return, I got him, I guess. And just as I thought that things will be great from then on, he left. And I've never been so clueless, confused, shocked, sleepless and very paranoid after that. I really didn't know what to do. I thought I'll go crazy. Fortunately, I'm still here, sanely writing and trying to convince people. [Laughs]
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Of course, it was long before I've moved on, like years long. I am myself now. I really have myself back when I lost him. That's what matters most, right? And that's what I'm trying to tell you folks.
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If you say that you'll lose yourself without him, forget it! It's definitely not love anymore if that's what you think what love is. Love is supposedly to bring out the best in you, not bring you out of yourelf or out of your mind. Love is to nurture not to destroy or exploit. So when you say that you'll lose yourself, think again. Because it's like saying losing your life. Duh! My point is simple, when you think that you truly love someone that much for you to lose yourself, snap out of it! It won't do anything good not only to you or to him but also to those around you.
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I'm not saying that you have to take everthing that I'm saying or that I'm right about this matter of love and life as well. I'm talking just based on my own experience. You don't really need me or anyone. You actually know what to do. You just have to wake up first.

A SONG THAT WAS NEVER HEARD

Do you know how many songs are there already? I don’t think so. And neither do I. Answering this would take more than a lifetime. Well, of course, so long as there is humanity or any living thing in this world, there will always be music, there will always be songs.

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People write songs to express what or how they feel. Some make them for their religion, some for their loved ones, some for their country, some for themselves, and some for money. That is why there are songs that tell a sad story or proclaim a victory or declare passion and love or simply say nothing important at all, et cetera.

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But I’m not writing for the facts nor for the technicalities of it, I’m here to tell a story about a song that was never heard. I know you haven’t heard every song there is, but this one was never heard by anyone except, of course, the one who made it.

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Three years ago, I had the chance of meeting this person in a gathering. I forgot how old he was but I think he was two years my senior and I was 15 then. Hahaha! I’m just kidding, I was 19? Hahaha! Anyway, he was the one I first noticed when I arrived. He’s not attractive, okay. It’s just that he was alone and appeared to be in need of someone to talk to. Fortunately, we were introduced by a common friend. So I learned that he was some guitarist/vocalist of a band. And again, I forgot the name. And after we were introduced, he went back to being alone, stuck in that corner of the room, holding a pen and a paper, and trying to write something despite the noise. I thought he was preparing for a speech so I approached him thinking I could be of help. What more will you expect from me? Hahaha! But he didn’t notice me until I spoke, imagine that! Hahaha! I know he was not up for a conversation but I know he wanted to talk to someone. Good thing he was a perfect gentleman, definitely far from his rough look. And when I finally got him to talk, I found out that he was not writing a speech, he’s not even one of those who will be giving one. You got it! He’s writing the song I’m talking about. I asked him what the song is all about and for whom. He didn’t tell me. Huhuhu! He said that he just started writing. I know he just made that up just to stop me from questioning and I respected that. I actually sensed that it was really a personal matter. And I let him be. And later that night, the common friend I told you a while ago drove me home. Unexpectedly, he was asking a lot about the guy instead of me asking about him. But then the asking turned into storytelling. I then learned that he, the guy I just met that is, just broke up with his “rumoured” girlfriend. Rumoured because what they had, according to them, was not official. The parents didn’t know though I’m sure they were one of the reasons of the break up and even their friends didn’t know the real score between them. They were just shocked that they broke-up. I don’t know how true this break up is but it’s their business. What’s more shocking is that the host that night was actually the “rumoured” girlfriend. I just hope I didn’t offend the girl by talking to him that night. If only I knew. Well, the girl still invited me a year after, maybe it was nothing to her anymore. Now then, I knew what the secrecy was all about. It must have been very hard for him that night.
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I thought I won’t be seeing him again after that but a trip back home was all I need. We were still familiar with each other since it was just a week later. So we were seatmates during the trip, which is to my advantage. Of course, I can now ask about that **** song. And I had an hour and a half to do that. Hahaha! He was probably cursing me back then but I don’t care. So I kept on asking until he shared a little. But the sharing had been all about his band and their music and the possibility to disband. And for the song, he just said that he’s still working on it. I wish I could ask more but then I knew I had to stop. Heartbreak is enough for the poor guy and constantly reminding him of it is already cruelty. Hahaha! In short, I didn’t get anything from that trip.
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And now, after three years, I saw him again. He was not the rough-looking guy anymore. I must say that he really improved, physically. Hahaha! We did a short chitchatting and, accordingly, he just arrived from Manila last week and he’s going back this weekend. The funny thing was that the first thing I asked him was the song he was working on three years ago, which made him burst into intense laughter. He couldn’t believe that I still remember that after all these years. If it wasn’t clear to me then, there’s no way I could get over it, I told him that, which made him laugh even more! Hahaha! But to answer my question, he said that I can have it if I want to. I asked why, of course! And he said that there’s no reason to keep it and he sighed. I didn’t ask further and I didn’t accept the offer though I was tempted to give in. Just the fact that he made it for the one he loves or loved and that the one he was supposed to give it to didn’t have it first is more than enough for me to forget it. And we parted.
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But I didn’t stop there. I texted all my friends who knew the girl and I found out that the girl is already married and now, expecting her first baby. I guess that explains the sigh…
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Actually, I’m still wondering about the song because somehow I can relate with the guy in some ways. I also have written some songs but at least some of mine were already heard. I’m still thinking what the song is all about, how it sounds like, and how deep, passionate, or meaningful are the words in it, et cetera. And I wonder how it must have felt to give away what you have worked hard for or to have someone else make use of it.
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[Sigh]I’ll try not to write this kind of an article again. Hahaha!

my simplest birthday celebration...so far!

It's my birthday today... Wheew... I'm not getting any older! [laughs]

Don't ask me of my age... You won't get any response to that... Just do your research! [laughs]

Anyway, yeah, this is my simplest brithday celebration so far! Why? Well, I'm celebrating it alone... And somehow I like it... coz I really have my special day for myself... hehehe... Where are my friends? Well, I did an advance celebration last week with them though... So another week of celebration with them again? Good luck to my wallet... hahaha...

As of now...obviously...I'm posting here another nonsense...hahaha...And maybe later on I'll be heading downtown to unwind...naks! I'm still thinking of a best spot for a loner...hahaha...hmmm...I'm used to being alone actually but this time is different... of course!

I thought of watching a movie but I always do that...duh...what can you expect from a movie buff...if only i can go watch movies everyday, i'll be more than willing to do so... And so I thought of going to blugre in MTS...but then again, I always go there...I guess the crew there are already familiar with me...besides, I want to have a good sleep tonight, so no coffee for now...in fact, I already had 3 cups for this day...I just wish i could still have a good night sleep... I also thought of going to seawall...but duh...alone and no ride? hahaha...I can't think of anything else...so I'm stuck here again exposing myself to radiation...hahaha!

Watta celebration! Happy birthday to me!

Thanks to all who didn't forget to greet me!

ONE CUP OF COFFEE & IT'S A BLAST!

I really love drinking coffee as much as I love watching movies. It has been part of my daily life. It has played a great role in some of my life's significant times. Coffee was there during exams and defense, when I'm drunk and heartbroken, when I'm alone and bored, when I'm with my friends and talking all night long or simply when I get crazy again and just doesn't want to sleep at all. You may have notice that it's more than a "drink" for me now. Yeah, it has become a great companion. I can't call it a day without it. As a matter of fact, I'm having one right now. [Laughs]

In almost everything that I do, especially those that require staying up all night, I must have coffee first. As I've said, "One cup of coffee and it's a blast!" [Laughs]